Politics

In a bold and unprecedented move, the Granite State has declared a new state motto that's turning heads and igniting conversations worldwide. New Hampshire's new motto, "Be Gay or Die," marks a momentous step towards inclusivity and LGBTQ+ acceptance in the state's history.

In a stunning turn of events that has left the LGBTQ+ community and allies bewildered, the Supreme Court of the United States has unveiled a bold new initiative: the "Just Say NO" campaign. Under this groundbreaking ruling, web designers are now empowered to confidently refuse same-sex wedding work by invoking those two simple, powerful letters: N and O.

In response to the increasing acceptance of LGBTQ+ rights, a conservative group has launched a new campaign to "Pray Away the Gay." The group, called the Coalition for Traditional Values, is urging Christians across the country to pray for the "salvation and deliverance" of LGBTQ+ people.

In a surprising turn of events, the openly gay mayor of a small town in the Midwest has come out as a Republican. Mayor Thomas Jacobs made the announcement at a press conference on Monday, stating that he had switched parties because of the GOP's strong fiscal policies.

"I've always been a fiscal conservative," Mayor Jacobs said, "and I've been impressed with the Republicans' commitment to responsible spending and reducing the national debt. As someone who has had to balance a budget for a small town, I know how important it is to live within our means."

In a historic move, Congress has passed legislation making it illegal to use the phrase "that's so gay" as an insult. The bill, which was sponsored by Representative Jane Smith, was met with overwhelming support from both sides of the aisle.

The legislation comes after years of advocacy from the LGBTQ+ community, who have long called for an end to the use of the phrase as a means of denigrating people for their sexual orientation. "This is a major victory for the LGBTQ+ community," said Representative Smith in a statement. "It sends a clear message that discrimination and hate speech will not be tolerated in this country."

In a move that has left the LGBTQ+ community in shock, Republican lawmaker Tom Johnson has introduced a bill that would make rainbows illegal. The proposed legislation, which Johnson claims is necessary to "preserve traditional American values," would ban the display of any rainbow-colored item, including flags, clothing, and even food.

In a bold move aimed at appeasing their base, Republicans have announced their intention to eradicate transgender people from American society, starting with the letter 'T'. The move was praised by conservative groups as a step towards preserving traditional values and protecting the sanctity of gender.

"Transgender people are a threat to our way of life," said Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, speaking at a press conference on Wednesday. "We cannot allow them to infect our children with their gender ideology. That's why we're taking decisive action to remove the letter 'T' from the English language."

In a shocking turn of events, Congressman Mark Brown, who has a long history of anti-LGBTQ+ views, has announced that he will be wearing a rainbow wristband to his next press conference in a show of support for the community.

The announcement came as a surprise to many, as Brown has a record of voting against LGBTQ+ rights and has even been known to use homophobic slurs in the past. However, in a statement released yesterday, Brown claimed that he has had a change of heart and is now committed to fighting for the rights of all Americans, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.